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'And some of the females held my banner' (qasida 6:6) This is the motto for this section, which is either for the women view points or for the things that matter the most for them. You can find all special expressions in the Glossary. We need your comments to develop this site for you.
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Be gentle to Womenfolk (cont')
To resume what was previously mentioned: Prophet Muhammad [PPBUH] was known for never complaining about food. If he likes it, he eats it. If he detests it, he leaves it. Once, He [PPBUH] wanted to eat bread and dipping, but vinegar was the only possible dipping available. When they brought him vinegar and bread to eat, he said, (vinegar is the best dipping, vinegar is the best dipping). See you dear husbands, who bristle with anger whenever their wives fail to serve them food on time or if they cook for them -unintentionally-something which they do not like. Women may have been obliged to do so for some reason. Unfortunately, husbands get irritated before knowing such reasons. Are not they the protectors and maintainers of women? Sometimes wives rage at their husbands, and they may turn away from them. Yet, husbands are to put up with their wives’ mood and take into their accounts their wives' nature. Prophet Muhammad’s wives sometimes raged at and deserted Him for a whole day period [from day to dawn]. Yet, he used to be tolerant with them. Sayeduna Umar [AAH] said: “men of Quraysh used to master their wives, but when we came to Medina we found the opposite. Moreover, our wives began to learn from the women of Medina”. Then he said : “I used to live in Bani Umaya ibn Zaid, in Al-'Awali. Oneday, I had a fight with my wife, and she was arguing with me. However, I refused such thing. She said ‘so, you refuse to be argued about anything! I swear to Allah that the Prophet’s wives do argue with him, and they may also turn away from him for a whole day!’ Then he said: ‘I, at once, went to Hafsa [his daughter, and a wife of the Prophet -PPBUH] and said: ‘do you argue with Muhammad [PPBUH]? She said: ‘yes’. I said: ‘and do you and his other wives turn away from him for a whole day long?’ She said : ‘yes’. I said : ‘Fails she who may do that! How can you rest assured, while Allah may be angry with you for upsetting Muhammad [PPBUH]? Do not argue with the Prophet any more! You may come to me and ask me anything’. Later, Umar went to the Prophet [PPBUH] to tell him what happened. The messenger’s reaction to that was a smile. In another incident, Muhammad [PPBUH] was trying to pacify one of his wives, who was at rage. One day, he went to Safeya bint Hay [AAH] (his wife), and he found her crying. He asked her (what makes you cry?) She said: ‘Hafsa says that I am a Jew’s daughter. He said: (tell her that Muhammad is my husband, Aaron is my father and Moses is my uncle). See, how a dispute may be resolved with simple words and good manner. There is also an awesome ideal prophetic attitude towards Aisha [AAH]. Aisha [AAH] was jealous for the Prophet [PPBUH]. How could she be not, and he is her husband, messenger of Allah and the best of all Adam’s sons!
What a great wisdom! and what a beautiful patience! the patience of Mohammad [PPBUH] to the jealousy of Aisha [AAH]. There was no insult or abuse. Instead He [PPBUH] considered His wife's psychological state. He knew that jealousy is one of the natures of women in this worldly life, as she is controlled by sentiment more than the mind, so sometimes she does some unreasonable actions coming out of her highly sensitive feeling and her strong love for her husband ... The Beloved [PPBUH] took into consideration that jealousy and it was not a reason for separation from His wife, the mother of believers, Aisha [AAH]. Instead He was patient, then afterwards, he was just and asked for a replacement for the broken bowl. So how tolerant You were O, Messenger of Allah! ... This is what all husbands need to emulate. Let us consider another Hadith: Aisha [AAH] said: It was my night and the Prophet was at my place. He thought that I was asleep and He went out, so I went out after Him - she thought that He went out to one of His other wives - I followed Him until He came to al-Baqi'a - the cemetery of the first Muslims - then He went away, so I went away. He hurried, so I hurried. He trotted, so I trotted. So I beat Him home. When He entered He saw me and said: (Why do I see you cannot catch you breath?) So I told Him what happened. He said: (Did you think that Allah and His messenger will oppress you?) ... the Hadith by Muslim. So how great were your manners, O, Messenger of Allah [PPBUH]! And how just you are! And how can you not be while Allah s the One Who taught you and made your manners great! Then when the Messenger of Allah asked Aisha: (Where you jealous?) She said: Why can I be jealous for someone like you? narrated by Ahmed. What a beautiful Love Allah made between husbands and wives! listen brothers and sisters at the beautiful dialogue between the Prophet [PPBUH] and His loving wife who was jealous for him even after he died. So if husbands realize and understand this feminine feeling, there will not be any fights between them and there will not be separations and harm to the children.
From these Hadith you can see how much was our beloved Messenger of Allah [PPBUH] patient, tolerant, and wise in dealing with the jealousy of his wife Aisha [AAH] with His great manners that Allah said about it: [O, And verily, you are on an exalted standard of character] Al-Qalam 68:4. The Prophet [PPBUH] emphasized the prevention of being injustice to them. He said: (O, Allah, I emphasize the inviolability of the rights of the two weak subjects: the orphans and the women). the Prophet [PPBUH] forbade the use of violence even when Allah permitted their punishment when they become recalcitrant: [refuse to share their beds, and beat them] al-Nesa' 4:34. The Prophet [PPBUH] said: (No one can beat his wife the way he beats the slave. The best of you is the best to his wife). He also said: (The best of you is the best to his folks and I am the best to my folks. Only an honorable man would honor his wife and only a mean one would humiliate her). Aisha [AAH] said: We were on a travel with the Prophet [PPBUH]. Abdullah ibn Rawaha was a good at urging the camels forward by singing, and he was with the men and Angasha was with the women. The Prophet [PPBUH] said to ibn Rawaha: (Move the people). So he started singing, Angasha followed him and the camels went wild. The Prophet [PPBUH] said to Angasha: (Easy, be gentle to the vials). He meant the womenfolk. He called them vials because they could easily broke and hard to fix. What this means is that when the camels go fast they will exhaust their riders, so the Prophet prevented Angasha from singing because women could not tolerate that. Some scholars said that the vials are as white as silver and as clear as water. When you look at the vials you can see yourself on them ,,, Moreover, and what shows the pity of the Prophet [PPBUH] over women, is that when He was dyeing, He ensured their rights. A man dying was supposed to be concerned with himself, but the Prophet showed His respect, defense, and mercy for women at this critical moment. So He advised men to be good to women. He also urged them to advise each other that. He said (Advise each other to be good to womenfolk). Hadith cannot be finished about how was the Prophet [PPBUH] good to his women and to all women. So husbands should be patient and consider the Messenger of Allah as their role model, to understand the nature of their wives and how Allah made them and appreciate that. With Cooperation from both sides, understanding, and consideration to each other's psychology, the boat of marriage will go smoothly through the waves of life. We ask Allah to refine our manners, ease our jealousy over our husbands, protect them from all harm, and protect all Muslim homes.
Written by Samia Sa'id Translated by Noha
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